Weeks three and four: frenzies

Well, due to weather I couldn't update two weeks ago, and last week everyone at my mom's house was grounded from the internets. So here's a rawther long post for the last two weeks.
We finally got the internet turned off at the house, and I thought it'd be nothing. Instead, I found that I wanted to use the 'net more than ever. I am constantly thinking about logging on. Oh well, I guess. So it goes. So I had to find other things to do.
One of the main things has been this frenzy of cleaning. I have scrubbed out the fridge, wiped down the cabinets, wiped out the cobwebs from around the ceilings, swept, mopped, vacuumed, cleaned mirrors, and on and on and on. Until Tuesday, that is.
Because on Monday night/Tuesday morning, Dunc came down with the flu. He woke us all up puking at about two in the morning. All over the bed. All over himself. All over me. Which then woke Riley. I knew we had no hope of getting the kids back to sleep, so I took them both back downstairs and re-built the nest. Dunc spent the rest of the night puking about every hour, which meant that I got no sleep. And then Dave couldn't stay home from work on Tuesday, so I got to struggle through. I know I have spent many days awake before, but never as a parent. And never sober. The best puke? The one where Riley had just shot shit all the way up to her shoulderblades, I had just finished putting a diaper on her, and then Dunc stood up and puked all overhimself in his toy corner. So I had a sleeper full of shit sitting on the coffee table, a bucket with half the puke in it, and two crying children. Fun.
I'm having a hard time remembering the past two weeks. Dunc is at home with his daddy, but my niece Ari is the same age and she does.not.stop.talking. Also my nephew Zain (aka Ralphie) is teething. I am repeatedly explaining that Riley eats booby-milk, that I have milk in my boobies, that Ari does not have milk in her boobies, that grandma does not have milk in her boobies, that no, she may not see my boobies right now. It's super cute, but also super annoying.
For those who care, I had an all right birthday. I'm sort of in denial, I don't want to be 28. I know it's not old, but I didn't ever really believe it'd come. Dave and I had my mom come over and keep the kids for an hour so we could go to Kasai and I could gorge on sushi. And tempura cheesecake. On my acutal birthday we came over here and had cake and icecream and crazy family time. My sis is staying here and she's doing great. She's lookin great, her kids are awesome, you know, it's just how it is.
I can't remember anything else I wanted to talk about, of course. I'm going to have to write more stuff down during the week. This improvisation stuff just ain't working right now. There's too many distractions.
So that is all, for now.

Week two: Stay in the Nest!

It's been a long, rough week. My cold came back like a ton of bricks, like a freight train, like . . . pick your metaphor. There's this lovely and enjoyable feeling that someone is jabbing an icepick up my nostrils. Sinuses are so full that my eyes are watering and I'm pretty sure that my eyeballs are being squeezed out of my head.
So we all stayed in the collection of pillows, cushions, and blankets in the living room floor that we call the nest. I battled valiantly against my escapist tendencies, but lost miserably due to my foolish decision to re-read the Harry Potter series. But seriously, I could do with some of Madam Pomfrey's Pepperup Potion, smoking at the ears and all. It'd be worth it, if I could feel better instantly.
We finally got the internet turned off. This morning. Yeah. So I did get on the 'net on Saturday after my three-hour shift at work. I was sick, but it was something like negative 15 degrees, so the few customers I did have came in late enough that I was extremely over-caffinated. I was more than able to provide my special brand of hyperactive personalized customer service. I had to have something to do while I nursed Riley to sleep, so I hopped online and updated my Travian account. Fun.
I also have to admit that I accessed teh interwebz on Tuesday. I had to try to find President (!!woot!!) Obama's Inauguration Speech. It happened at naptime, so Dunc was using his last burst of energy to drive me effing crazy. I have to admit that I spent most of Tuesday horribly worried that some nutjob was going to try to do something horrid. So thank all the gods that may or may not be, nothing happened.
In family news, Dunc's in this heartbreaking "Do you like me?" phase. I'm pretty sure it's developmentally appropriate, but it's crushing everytime he says it. My reply is "OF COURSE I like you, I like you so much that I love you." And of course explaining that I don't like what just happened if I happened to be yelling.
Riley's got TWO teeth! Holy crap! So I guess this ends my career as a teething toy. I can't stand to have her chewing my chin when she's got these sharp chompers to use. She doesn't quite get it.
I'd intended this to be more amusing, but I'm at my mom's house, Riley's going crazy, and it's time for dinner. And I'm mighty hongry. So the end. Ha.

Week One: Preparation

You know in the movie Trainspotting, where Renton is preparing meticulously to get off junk? I've spent a half an hour looking on youtube for a clip and can't seem to find it. That's what this week as been.

For some reason, I have been unable to get Dave to call and get the internet shut off. He was all for it when I suggested it, but now he's dragging his feet.

So last Friday, I overdosed on internet. I didn't post anything on any message boards, but I lurked around and read lots of articles, and basically spent the day staring at the computer. It was the same on Saturday. On Sunday, I decided it was best to try to wean myself. Went "cool turkey" rather than cold turkey, if you know what I mean. I allowed myself to access the internet about four times on Sunday. Three times on Monday. Only two on Tuesday. Yesterday, Wednesday, I didn't even turn on the computer.

I was right about the "Bejeweled" thing, though. I played it compulsively from Sunday to Tuesday night. It's Thursday morning, and every time I close my eyes, I still see those stupid jewels.

It seems, though, that the gods of the internet are testing me. The kids were sick all weekend, nasty cold. A slight fever, a nasty-sounding productive cough, general weakness and lack of appetite. And of course, Riley is cutting a second tooth -- right next to the other one, that's still working its way out. So she now has two bottom teeth.

Then Dave got sick on Monday. He tried to go to work but came home after a couple of hours. And he stayed home Tuesday. I tried to get him to stay in bed, upstairs. He insisted on coming down and "helping" me with the kids. Those who stay at home with their kids will know this is no help. Not only was he sick & grumpy, he upset the routine of the days. No loud noises, so no dancing or tickling or chasing. Poor Dunc's had a rough week.

Yesterday, I woke up with it. I feel like hell. But of course no one could come to help me out. I asked Dave to pick me up a box of chicken soup mix -- just add water. He got a box of herb-ox packets. I didn't bother making soup, I'm not aware enough to use a knife. I took all the cushions and pillows and blankets in the house and made a nest in the living room floor, and the kids and I just laid there and watched T.V. all day. I must've angered the nap gods, because even though I got both kids to sleep at the same time TWICE, every time I closed my eyes, my damn phone rang. Let me state unequivically, I HATE THE PHONE.

As far as withdrawal symptoms. I keep having dreams about people on APC. People I've never even met in real life. (Laura, Jenny, I hope everything's OK with you.) Yeah, it's pretty weird. Also, my brain insists on planning strategy for the next round of Travian. WTF? There's not gonna BE a next round for me. One good thing. I've stopped worrying so much about the whole "economic crises" and the state of the country since I've stopped reading so much news. I'm still worried, but I am not ripping my fingernails off thinking about it. (Now, I'm just ripping my fingernails off for no reason.)

Now the computer's on, and I really, really want to go check out my usual haunts. However, I've promised Dunc that as soon as I finish this I will come sit with him in the nest. So just a few more things and I'm done.

First, I didn't realize how much my being on the computer affected Dunc's behavior. He is so much sweeter, so less likely to get into shit, when I'm not in front of this machine. I feel stupid saying that, because I should have known. But it's be the truth. My son was acting out to get attention. And now I'm kicking myself in the ass for not giving him it sooner.

I'm also realizing how much the internet contributed to my depression. I feel much better emotionally when I don't spend the evening guilty for yelling at Dunc and basically ignoring him so that I can read "just one more" article or post. Things that should've been resources turned into major diversions and time-suckers. I should never have let it get so far.

And I'm finding that I enjoy my kids much more when I am giving them undivided attention. Another "duh" moment. Even though we've been stuck inside all week and I don't really feel like moving, it's been fun. Dunc tells great stories and remembers things he has no business remembering.

But alas, it is time for Lazy Town. I hate it but Dunc LOVES it. He loves Sporticus. And I promised I'd watch with him. So . . . that's it for this week. Forgive any incoherant blather, I really am sick. Hopefully next week's entry will be much more entertaining.

The Beginning

I am addicted to the internet. Every morning, I wake up and begin going through the list of websites I visit every day. (APCleveland, travian, travian forums, Huffington Post, Hathor the Cowgoddess, Mama Is . . . , MDC, Failblog, Change.gov, Cakewrecks, Neopets . . . ) And when I finish going through the list, I briefly interact with my kids, and then go through the list again. Rinse and repeat.

So sitting and thinking of what I'd like to do this year, I have decided that the most important thing is to concentrate on the Important things and get rid of that which is unnecessary. Things that keep me from concentrating on my kids and my marriage. Things that suck my time. Things that keep my eyes turned away from the real world. Things that cause stress and friction in my life.

And the biggest thing, the one that does all of these? Teh interwebz. They'se gots to go.

So after a bit of preparation, we have decided to call today and arrange to have this tentacle of technology removed. I have notified the important people on certain message boards. I have notified the leaders of my alliance in a certain game. I will be sending out an email and posting a myspace blog today. I'll be unsubscribing from the various groups and blog updates in my email. And I'm done.

So follow me, why dontcha? I'll be updating weekly, chronicling my withdrawal from the internet. Answering the question, what does one do when there is no internet to waste one's time? I hope to play with my kids more, to finally finish an afghan, to read more books, to have good conversation with my husband, to actually see my friends face to face rather than emailing, and to get outside and feel the sun on my face. Or the cold wind, this time of year. Who knows, maybe I'll even produce some poetry that is fit to be read?

What will probably happen? I see compulsive playing of Bejeweled in the near future. Also a desire to subscribe to various newspapers and magazines. Likely obsessive nail-chewing. Perhaps some over eating. Maybe some moodiness. And agonizing impatience for the construction company to just freakin finish the lovely new library already, dammit. And of course the thought that this was just a horrible idea and I don't know what I was thinking.

So here we go. I've gathered the tattered threads of my will. Can I weave them into a rope to hang onto? I guess we'll find out.