Wednesday, May 13, 2009

what i've been up to. a list.

here is what i've been doing.
-finished two afghans
-planted potatoes in the garden
-decided the garden isn't big enough
-read at least three books a week
-learned some about politics
-researched planting flowers
-got dave reading animal vegetable miracle
-started doing the grocery shopping again
-tried quinoa and cous cous
-got a mothers day gift from mother nature

riley:
-sings (sorta)
-dances
-crawls
-has five teeth
-stands well

duncan is fine as well. nearly three. oh dear. loves spongebob.

that is all.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

yeah

So a friend informed me that this is boring. I agree. I dunno if it's just that I'm boring, which is entirely possible, or if it's just the blog. Thing is, I don't know how exactly to make it more exciting. I mean, I could go and start writing out crazy dirty fantasy, which I guess would be rather more exciting. But at the same time fairly embarassing. Or I'll just stay the boring course.

I'm in a period of reevaluation. So I've not much to say. I want to start keeping a list of shit to look up when I come over here.

But this week was fine. I can't remember what exactly we did, but we did stuff.

Wow, talk about boring. That's all today. I'm spent.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Seemed Like a Short Week

So, Unconditional parenting. Dude. I hate phrases like "thought-provoking" but it really is. I'ma highly recommend this book. It has really made me think about the things I've been doing with my kids, from the way I speak to them to the methods of discipline I use. I burned through it in about a day and a half to get the gist, and then started it again the next day for a detailed read. Even if you're into things like spanking, this book is a good read. If, that is, you're into questioning yourself and reevaluting things. If you're not, don't bother. I've gone from guilt to noticing my own behaviors in others, to just considering. It's really very interesting.
Anyhow, back to things we did this past week.
The weekend was . . . okay. Dave was in a rawther shitty mood. Still, Saturday was my brother's birthday. I just can't believe he's 15 already. So we came over here and hung out and Dave got to ride a dirtbike. We also decided that since the weather was nice we'd go for a hike. We didn't think about the fact that things were liable to be muddy, though. So we struggled through about a mile of mud and muck. Dunc fell, got his knees all muddy and cut his hand on a rock. Dave bitched the whole time. I enjoyed it, however. The hike, not the bitching. The air smelled clean and springlike, all the plants are starting to grow and swell and get ready for summer.
Sunday we headed over to Clinton for a walk on the towpath. It was freakin gorgeous. Seriously. We saw a bunch of turtles sunning on logs in the old canal, and a pair of mallards. Looked like there might be a nest somewhere nearby. It was mobbed out, though, and we had issues keeping Dunc on the right so he didn't get run down by bikes.
Monday was another beautiful day. We all went outside for about an hour and a half, played in the yard. I opened up the sandbox and we all played in there. Riley loved it, she just kept laughing and clapping her hands. And trying to eat leaves.
Tuesday morning we all went to Burger King in Wadsworth and met Terra and an old teacher of mine who is now Katie Miller. The kids played in the playplace for awhile and we just sat n talked. Then when we got home, I took the kids to the backyard for more play in the sandbox. This time, Riley just kept grabbing leaves off of the ground and trying to bury them in sand. I unearthed a mummified bug exoskeleton and scared the hell out of myself. I didn't look at it, I was just handling it like it was a pebble or something. And then I felt the legs and looked and realized what was in my hand and jumped a mile. I'm not into bugs. I have a feeling that I'm gonna have to get over that.
And today, Wednesday, I woke up feelin bitchy. We went to Wadsworth to explain to the library that I returned The Dumb Bunnies last week, but the librarian ignored me and said "Oh, well, if it turns up at your house . . . " I said okay, fine, I hope you find it but if you don't, just renew it. Whatever.
Then we went over to Friedt Park for about ten minutes. I was not down for being around anyone, so as soon as another car pulled in we were gone. We went home by taking new roads which was interesting, and then played in the yard some more. Got the kids a nap, and my mom called to tell me she was home early from work. So we came over here, and I must've needed to hang out with my family, because my bitchy mood evaporated as soon as I got here.
Now Dunc's eating apples dipped in jelly -- I know, weird, right? and Riley is sitting in the highchair eating freeze-dried banana. I'ma wrap this up, cuz I've really nothing else to talk about, and go play.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Highs and Lows, Wins and Losses.

So I was praising any god that might control the weather when it got warm on Thursday. The kids and I passed the time easily, and went for a walk around town. We walked over to Sts Peter and Paul church, one of the oldest churches in the state. Duncan likes the stautes of Peter and Paul with the keys and sword and the little courtyard. Off to the left is a statue of Mary, so we looked at her too.
I don't go in much for organized religions -- I dig eastern belief systems and paganism -- and I know next to nothing about Catholocism and the saints and such. So the extent of my story about Mary was "Mary was a very special mommy, who had a very special baby named Jesus." I think Dunc and Ri can wait 'til they're a bit older to learn about religion -- and then decide for themselves if it's bullshit or not. What is religion anyway, except a construct of beliefs that resonate in your heart? I made a promise to my grandma on her deathbed that my babies would know about Jesus, and I won't break it. But I will let them know that they can choose to believe or not.
Moving on. Friday was fine. We had a picnic snack in the backyard. I ate Doritos and Dunc had Cheetoes. Yeah, horribly unhealthy. But come on. Everything in moderation. Some junk food a couple times a week is not something that worries me, when his normal snack of choice is carrot sticks or wheat thins. Deprivation leads to binging. Moderation results in a measure of self-regulation.
Friday night we went to a reverse raffle and my mom and sister Gianna kept the kids. It was the first time I've left Riley with anyone but Dave for an extended period of time and I was nervous. After all, she's at the seperation anxiety stage, she's teething, and even on normal nights she wants only me after about 7:30. But it went surprisingly well. I showed my mom how to use the ring sling and I think that helped. And the raffle was fun. Spraffin shite with clan Elder, got Cousin Mike angry discussing politics. I always find it interesting to talk to folks who try to be informed -- maybe even especially those who hold differing views from my own.
Anyway, I enjoy those folks, and we enjoyed the free food, and we walked outta there with $150. Hooray for winning.
So we got home after ten, Dunc was awake, then Ri woke up for boob. We didn't get them back out until about midnight. Dave and I got to bed about 12:30. Unfortunately, I couldn't get to sleep until after one . . . and my alarm starts going off at 3 so I can nurse Riley before work. I felt like a zombie, but work was OK. I came home to a tired husband and kids who were wide awake. Somehow in my sleep-deprived daze I made it til noon and got Dunc down for a nap. I then took Ri upstairs for what I hoped would be a short nap . . . and woke up at 5 pm! Wasted all the nice weather sleeping.
Sunday we took Dunc to Target for new shoes. He freaked out. Screamed when we took off his old ones. So we grabbed a pair of 9 1/2's and went to Buehlers to cash in WIC coupons and get a few essentials. I introduced Dave and Dunc to what has long been my favorite spurge -- Bolthouse Farms Vanilla Chai. It's made with soymilk and is pretty good for you -- all natural and blah blah blah -- but it tastes so good you'd swear it was unhealthy. Speaking of healthy stuffs, I also finally picked up a bottle of fish oil caplets. I can do with some Omega-3's for sure. And I really don't like fish, especially the oily ones, so I think a supplement is in order.
Monday was fine, we went outside. I chased Dunc around and then we went around the house looking for spring flowers that might have popped up. The daylilies by the garage are coming through. Our strawberry patch has spread quite a bit. I think I saw a crocus leaf, and the daffodils are coming up as well. I gave Riley a piece of pine tree to check out, and amazingly it didn't go into her mouth!
Tuesday . . . *sigh* Tuesday was bad. I really could've used the internet. The rain made me feel like a prisoner. A prisoner who got locked up with a couple of crazy monkies. And . . . well . . .it was a BIG step backward for me. Since Dunc's been walking, I've struggled with myself over methods of discipline. We've gone the non-violent way -- no spanking or slapping. It can be really tough for me because of my own upbringing, but I usually do quite well. Not Tuesday though. Then after our meltdowns, I called Dave. I wanted to try to talk to him about it, tell him how angry I was with myself, how horrified I was, how guilty, and also to ask for help. I tried to get him to come home from work. I felt like it would be best for me to not be alone with the kids, since I was clearly not in control. Instead of his support, I got his anger.
It was more of the same old shit. How everyone else's wife handles it, and why can't I, am I incompetant, why can't I just do it all the time on my own. There was more but I'm not gonna sit here and badmouth my husband. Suffice to say that instead of helping, he made the day worse. When he got home we did manage to speak calmly and honestly, and did our best to listen openly. The result was to declare Thursday evenings my time to be on my own. And us agreeing that although we've chosen a rather more difficult path than our mainstream friends and relations, we both still feel that nonviolent discipline and an attachment philosophy is the best way to go. The occasional failure is to be expected, especially given our backgrounds, but our kids are worth it.
If I'd had internet access, I could've visited AP Cleveland. I could've been reminded of all the reasons I chose this path. I could've talked to other moms who struggle with similar things. I could've whined without having to hear about how I should be able to be a good mother and good housekeeper and good wife without help. I could've spent some time feeling like part of a tribe instead of feeling like I'm alone on a small island.
Wednesday's trip to the Wadsworth library went well. Dunc was fairly calm and quiet. I picked up Unconditional Parenting along with a couple of other parenting books, and the first graphic novel adaptation of Stephen King's Dark Tower Series -- The Gunslinger Born. It's a gorgeous book. Beautiful, dark, rich illustration. And it sticks pretty close to the original text. Neither child napped, though, so we postponed the trip to my mom's until Thursday.
Dave had band practice Wednesday night. I was nervous, wondering how I'd do spending the whole night without Dave's help. But it went really well. We played with the HUGE batch of red play dough, had a quick dinner, and both kids were sleeping by 9. I even grabbed a quick shower before Dave got home at 10:30. Fuckin Supermom. Fo' real.
I dunno exactly what went on, but it seems he found new appreciation for me somewhere. Or else he was stroking my ego. Callin me supermom and talking up my successes with the kids. And he said "You're so beautiful. I can't believe I get to have sex with you." Which I like hearing, especially since my body's so change after two pregnancies and three years of nursing. So I feel pretty good, and self-esteem is nearly always an issue.
Today was fine. We read books and played. That's about it. We're here and we ate Popeye's chicken and fixin's. Things are good. That's it. The end. And stuff.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Boring Week I guess.

I can't come up with a good title for this week.
The end of last week was fine. Mercifully uneventful. We did nothing on Friday. Saturday Dave & Dunc went to Medina to go grocery shopping with Gramma DiHarney. Riley and I napped and nursed and played. Because that's what babies do. That girl is crazy, crawlin' all over the place. She walks holding onto our hands and it's clear she'd much rather get around that way, if only my back and legs would take it. I'm afraid we'll have another walker here soon, another toddler. I anticipate lots of bumps, bruises, and falls. And with Dunc around? Oh jeepers creepers and jinkies.
Sunday we all went to visit with the Mallardis, one of my favorite families. Dunc got to chase Marah around, the babies got to be babies near each other, and we "grownups" got to sit around and bullshit. Good times.
I was so effing bored on Monday. Painted a bit. The jaw, neck, shoulder, and upper chestal area of a man. One of my favorite places to look at on the male body. I have a sort of idea for a series or one big piece floating around in the back of my mind. We'll see how that comes out.
Tuesday I got a text from Terra, an invite to her place. When we got ready to go, I discovered that we had left the base for the baby bucket in Dave's car. So Terra brought me a carseat and we went to her place. Turns out the lady is PREGNANT!! And I wish her every joy of it. After her horrible loss this year, I think it'll be a joyous but nervous event. But I'm super excited for her and can not wait to watch her belly bloom and see her glow.
Today, Wednesday, was an eventful day. Right after Dave left, Dunc grabbed the bottle of teething tablets, hid, and ATE ALL OF THEM. Thank all the gods it's a homeopathic remedy. As soon as the nice poison control lady heard me say Hylands she said I didn't need to worry. As soon as I called Dave to tell him what happened, Dunc destroyed the swing we've had out for Ri to try. So I started the day off rawther frazzled. After breakfast we headed over to the Wadsworth Library to meet Ric & his kids for a couple of hours of fun. The first book I saw was the second graphic novel about Stephen King's gunslinger, called The Long Road Home. Beautiful, beautiful book. Seriously. Rich and gorgeous. Then upstairs to the children's section. We found a book called "The Stupids Die" that I had to bring home. So I got a Medina County Library Card. Hooray.
Now we are here at my parents house. Riley's in the floor and we just caught her chewing on a dog bone. Dunc is doing something in the bathroom. And my brother Tony is trying to get his chores done. So I guess this blog is mercifully short. Besides, I'm out of shit to talk about. So, um, yeah.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Week Whatever: Potty Learning, and Back to the Nest, Again.

So, Valentine's Day. Yeah. It was good, as far as days go. I made Dave a card with a green and yellow watercolor heart complete with Sentiment Inside, and I also wrote him a purty long loveletter - just a page and a half, really, but rawther lengthy for one with my time constraints and wonderful little interruptions. Duncan and I also made valentines for everyone in our family. Dave gave me a dozen white roses, which stunk up the kitchen lovely, and a card also complete with sentiment inside. Dave let me take a good long nap with Riley, and he and Dunc had a fire outside while it snowed.
I said I was gonna talk about Love last time, so here's what I've been thinking. Love means listening openly as well as speaking honestly. When someone you love is speaking their Truth, you have to listen Openly, without all the walls we put up in our minds.
So, the last couple of weeks. Here we go.
Last Monday was a Big Day. For one, the Disney Channel changed their lineup, which meant that Duncan's favorite show -- the Imagination Movers -- was not on. I had Dave call the cable company and get Disney on Demand. So from that point on we've been watching the same four or five episodes over and over. And over. And over. So I've begun to notice similarities between "Mover Dave" and my own dear husband. There's a passing resemblance -- curly hair & blue eyes -- and Dave often wears a red baseball cap that resembles to Mover Dave's magic hat. Mover Dave builds wacky inventions, and my beloved builds useful but odd-looking contraptions. Mover Dave likes to look in the Lost & Found room, my husband likes to look in Lost & Found boxes. And finally, the Imagination Movers have a band . . . and guess who plays bass? Now, who was it played bass for the Nimrods?
The second Big Thing about Monday was this feeling I woke up with. I felt I couldn't go on much longer changing diapers filled with stinky, food-flecked toddler/child shits. So we started Potty Learning. Dave & I have been talking up the potty to Dunc for months, hoping Dunc would want to start of his own accord. But it hadn't happened. However, Dunc was showing most signs of readiness -- grabbing, looking, and hiding when he needs to go - so we watched a special show on T.V. about going potty, we got out the special potty chair, we put on special underpants with special dragons on them that disappear when you pee, we made a special potty learning chart with special stickers to put on it, and we set a special reward of chocolate covered strawberries for every two stickers, and away we went with our special day. Every time we caught a pee in the potty, I got VERY enthusiastically excited, LOUD cheering, clapping, singing, dancing, calling daddy & grandmas. Plus stickers and treats. It went really well until Thursday night; Dunc got a fever to match his cough and runny nose. So we took Friday off due to sickness. But he's realized he needed to go and de-pantsed and peed twice, and we caught a poop on Wednesday morning for the loudest cheer yet and two small pieces of chocolate and strawberries for breakfast. Yeah, I know, chocolate for breakfast, the horror. But I felt like that was damn special.
The weekend was an odd one. A rough one. Saturday was passing uneventfully. I was a dutiful and exuberant Customer Service Representative to my eight or ten early-morning Wadsworthians (Wadsworth-ites? Whatever.) and a detail-oriented data-entry clerk, and a superbly accurate money counter.
The potty-ing was going well . . . until Gramma DiHarney called to say that she'd somehow flipped over the dog and couldn't feel her left arm.
So Dave ran to Medina to get his mom to the ER. Turns out she's broken her left arm in two places right by her shoulder. So Dave was gone for about four hours. And while he was gone, I was trying to put Riley down for a nap, nursing and playing Bejeweled while Dunc watched Imagination Movers (of course) and then Dunc comes in carrying his potty. He set it down next to me and made this little kind of voila gesture with his hands. I look down and there's a BIG brown and green turd in the potty! I jumped up, put Ri in the Pack n Play, grabbed Dunc, and ran out to the mudroom. There was much rejoicing, followed with hugs and tickles and dancing, then stickers and texts to daddy and Gramma DiPietro.
Sunday was blessedly calm, what with the snow. The males played in the garage and Ri and I nursed and played inside. The timing was just exactly for wrong for her nap -- she went down as they came inside.
Riley's had a busy couple of weeks as well. Learning to crawl. She's been getting around by rolling for months now, and I was beginning to wonder if she might not just skip the crawling and go to walking. But in the past weeks or so she's managed to figure out how to get her belly up offa the ground. She was crawling with her right leg folded so that her foot sticks out on the left, and she pushed with her left foot. Now she's got both her legs right, but she's still real slow. She's also figured out how to get from her belly to sitting, and how to turn while sitting up. She's also starting to pull to standing. I was kind of hoping she'd be slower to develop these skills than Dunc, and she is, but only by a month or so.
The only other notable event is that I dug out my old watercolors and acrylics, and got to painting again. Now, it's been years since I painted, and about ten years since I've liked the results. But I did three paintings this weekend, and I'm pretty okay with two of them. I don't think they're fantastic but they're interesting to look at, I guess. But the reason that painting is important is . . . well, a hundred years ago, before my Dark Ages, creative expression was very important to me. But when things got dark for me, that connection closed, that majick dried up. The why isn't important to anyone but me, and there's such a swirl of negative influence & events surrounding that time period that I'm not sure what happened exactly. Still it was something mournfully lost. So having it come back, even for a little while, was extremely gratifying. And I think I'll try to keep it up. Moving the brush and seeing what happens is still pretty thrilling.
This past Monday we went to visit Gramma DiHarney and then the kids and I came home. It was the usual horror in that the kids slept for 20 minutes in the car and then would.not.nap for the rest of the day. And I behaved in an abomidable (spelling?) fashion. Lots of yelling and being generally mean for no real good reason other than I needed a nap. So I spent the whole evening guilty & tryin to apologize.
Tuesday, Dave had to take his mom to the doc. He took Dunc with him, and I followed about ten minutes behind. Basically I ran in and grabbed Dunc and we headed to Dominic's to visit Gramma DiPietro and get a Godfather Burger. Oh, burger of my dreams. Half pound of beef, bacon, mushrooms and onions sauteed in butter, provolone cheese, lettuce tomato and mayo on a grilled bun. Heaven. Add fair-style fries and a pickle and it's a food-gasm. Glad I got it when I did cuz on the way home my nose and sinuses filled up eye-wateringly and I lost my sense of taste. The kids did fall asleep -- Riley for a good long while -- but it was only about 10:30 or so, so I still got them down for a real nap. We had the nest all ready to go as I was feelin so stuffy, and we all crawled in and boobed to sleep. I even got to cuddle up and sleep next to Dunc, which has been a rarity since my belly got big with Ri.
That night we watched ther Biggest Loser. Surprisingly, I managed to get both kids out before the Presidential Address. So, I actually heard what President Obama had to say. Between standing O's, that is. I liked the speech, not that I know what he was saying.
Wednesday we decided to go to my mom's on Thursday instead. I'm still real stuffy. We went for a coupla short walks and played in the yard. I put Ri in the stroller just to see how she liked it, and she was into it. Just sittin and lookin around. We have an awesome stroller with like bike tires on it and that fucker rolls like a dream It's for longer hikes, really, but around our block is an all-terrain kinda ride. The library construction is taunting me. No work is going on outside now but still scaffolds all over. So we took a walk around that once, and then the line of busses at our one traffic light in downtown reminded me that it was nearly the end of the school day. So we followed the busses back to our house and stayed in the yard awhile. I dragged out the playhouse and the slide-cube-thingy and Dunc played in the icy slush on top of the sandbox. Riley watched from the warmth of the bundleme and I played with Dunc and kept a watch out for kids shortcutting thr0ugh my yard and parents parking on my treelawn. We made a christmas tree in Dunc's house out of a fallen pine branch and raced up to the garage wall.
I have to say I was pretty surprised that Ri tolerated the stroller. She's usually a very in-arms type of babe. But she seemed to enjoy the different perspective and I was glad. I like being able to run with my son. Having a baby has been really intense and I was happy to be able to make him the center of my attention.
I still miss the 'net. I've lots of questions I need answered. We're taking a break on the potty learning as Dunc's been very negative lately and I'm wanting to research these behavioral issues.
There's so much more I want to talk about but I've been trying to type all this out for an hour and a half and Ri's freaking out and everyone's patience is wearing thin. So this long ass entry is over.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Another week: thank the gods

It's been another short week full of long days. Isn't it weird how time gets? Especially now I have kids.
Anyway, we're running out of things to do inside, so thank all the gods that may or may not be out there that the weather's improved. Thursday and Friday were normal and cold, and we did lots of watercolor painting (mostly trying to remind Dunc that it goes water, paint, paper) and learning about scissor safety. Gotta learn the rules. Stay at the table, no fingers by scissors, if you're not cutting paper the scissors belong on the table. Also dancing to the usual songs -- Istanbul, Particle Man, Birdhouse in Your Soul, Don't Let's Start by TMBG. Also a selection of Gorillaz, that Crowded House song, and Dunc's finally getting into some Cure. (Boys Don't Cry mostly.)
On Saturday I went to work as usual. Got all hopped up on coffee and argued with this really old guy about whether or not black people are just bad and lazy cuz it's in their blood. I got sorta pissed -- he went on to say badness just runs in the blood and no matter what color you are if your parents are bad you will be, too. Then he laughed about it. Whatever. He's crazy. But he also can tell me good stories about what life was like during WWII. Very interesting.
Sunday I was grumpy from the time I got outta bed. So I did something I've not done in a LONG time. I dug out my old walkman and my copy of "The Siket Disc" (Phish) and I went for a walk. I was surprised that my walkman worked, I haven't used it since the Pizza Shop Days. I was even more surprised that my tape actually played, as it's been buried under a years worth of crap in the back of my car. The walk was good, it was relaxing as I remember walking around Medina for hours was when I was 18. Later that day, I put Riley down for a nap and took Dunc for a walk. We saw a disembodied bird head on the sidewalk, and Dunc poked it with a stick. Then I decided to turn when Dunc didn't want to take, and he cried for three blocks. Then, we saw another dead bird -- a blue jay. Dunc didn't want to poke this one. He said it would say "chirp chirp" if he did. Even when I nudged it with a shoe, he wanted nothing to do with it. So we walked the three blocks home. And when we got back, Dave was gimping around with a broken toe and a crying babe.
Monday we stayed in the house because I didn't believe it was really nice outside.
Tuesday Riley had a doc appointment, and it was pretty nice out. So I sent Terra a text and we met up at Kalidascope Park in Wadsworth to play. My foolish self forgot about wind, so we didn't bring jackets. I ended up with Ri in the Mei Tai with a fitted crib sheet that I found in the car wrapped around her, and Dunc wearing an old knit hat of mine. Still, Dunc and Sasha had a pretty good time. The doc was running about a half an hour behind, so we all ran across town to Wendys, where Dunc and I shared a 10-piece nugget meal. Yeah, I know, fast food is bad. But I think once every few months is fine. Everything in moderation, right? We even had rootbeer. The doc appointment went well. Riley Jean weighs 20 lbs and 7 ounces, and she's nearly 28 inches long. We're gonna need a new carseat for her soon, ours only goes to 29 inches. I have no idea where to get a rear-facing seat that will hold a long baby. We'll have to research. Eventually.
Today started off rough, but after a really nice nap (during which I had some horrid dreams) we came over here really early and got Dunc and Riley and Ari out running in the field across the street. We played ball and practiced sharing and stopping when I said to stop (there's a big dropoff.) Now my mom's taking orders for Mexican food (YUM) and I have to hurry this up cuz G needs to use the computer before she goes to driving school.
I was going to write something about love, in honor of Valentine's Day. Maybe next week. So until then.